Confession: I am a cradle robber. Or at least a wanna-be cradle robber...my success rate thus far is marginal at best. I think it all started with Motocross Boy. Once he started flirting with me (he met me when I had my kids in tow so he obviously knew I was almost a decade older) it opened the door to a whole new world. Suddenly I noticed younger guys everywhere...and once I took notice of them they started flirting with me. (Gasp!) Case in point: Albertson's Boy. He's a tatted up guy that works at Albertson's and has taken a particular interest in me...and I have shamelessly returned the flirting. It got to the point where Kaleb once announced "Mom, he was looking at your butt while you were walking away" and Maddie pointed out that he's closer in age to her than he is to me. Which is true. What the hell is wrong with me? Do you want to know how bad it has gotten? I actually do a double take when I see the shirtless high school boys out doing their conditioning runs in the street. I can't believe I just typed that out. I should probably be arrested or something. 
My attraction to younger guys is compounded by my new love: flirting. I flirted with the creepy married dude in my office--so obviously I have problems and am completely void of any sort of "flirt filter." If you are breathing and I stand any sort of chance at convincing a judge that I "thought" you were of legal age then it is game on. I honestly think I am somehow trying to make up for lost time. My ugly duckling years (freakishly long chicken-like legs, bad perms, braces, and wearing home-made clothes) seriously held me back. 
I think my new proclivity for younger guys could be a great thing though. Most guys in their 30's are going to be damaged goods by now. We women screw guys up. Plain and simple. Unless you are a gay man you've probably been fucked up by multiple women by the age of 30. With this theory in mind it is my assumption that guys in their 40's are even worse. So dating a younger guy is the perfect solution right? If you need more convincing there is another obvious benefit to younger guys. They are hot. They still care about having a nice body...which is a biggie for me...and they tend to be more enthusiastic about everything. Life doesn't suck for them yet. They haven't experienced marital failure, haven't been broken down by corporate America, and haven't been trying to outrun the process of aging since the late 90's. Yep. I wanna find me a younger man! If Demi can do it...I can do it! Right?
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