Obsessed

I am going through withdrawals and it aint pretty. I haven't gotten any in a while (we won't discuss the exact time frame but I am neither a nympho nor a sexual camel okay?) and it is starting to take its toll on me.  Also, for the record, let me point out that my lack of sex right now is a choice...so don't go thinking that I am a desperate, hag of woman that just can't get any.  Au contraire.  I have a decent reserve of guys in my phone....sex is a mere phone call or text message away.  Granted, I'm no Heidi Fleiss....but if TLC ever wants to pilot "The Penis Whisperer" I am on their short list (I am totally kidding....seriously...only kidding).  My other option is to shoot off a flare but I don't think I need to cast my net THAT wide at this point--I need to save my desperate measures for when they are absolutely necessary. Never mind about all this...I have veered off track.  Back to my withdrawals. 

I walk out of my office and each time I do I can smell the sweet department-store scent of the man who last walked through the hall before me.  The smell of cologne is KILLING me.  Killing me I say!  I am a sucker for a good smelling guy.  I love love love cologne.  This may sound sick and twisted and I might find my name on the Megan's Law website after admitting this...but I buy my son the green Ax body wash because I am freakishly obsessed with that stuff.  Ob-freaking-sessed.  Believe me...you don't want to be that poor kid after he's done taking a shower because I have been known to chase him around the house trying to smell him.  (The things I do that will inevitably scar my children for life would need to be a whole separate blog--so let's not even go there right now.)  The ex-b/f wore Cool Water which is an all time favorite of mine.  In fact the second boy I ever kissed wore Cool Water...and yeah, that wasn't 5th or 6th grade folks.  I was THAT old when I got my second kiss.  So my question is this--would it be strange if I started to wear guy’s cologne?  I guess the worst thing that could happen would be that I would be turned on by myself all day long...but I fail to see how that would be any worse than my current situation.  As it is right now, I walk out of my office...I am greeted with the delicious smell of cologne...my heart starts beating a little faster...my mind starts to wonder (usually to shirtless images of Hugh Jackman or Gerard Butler circa his "300" days)...and then I see the actual man to whom the smell belongs. This is crushing. Truly crushing.  I think I need to get a life!